I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Randomize
