You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
