No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize