check it out our google latitudes are spooning
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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