waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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