cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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