For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm both gender and math confused
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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