i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
