Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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