their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
