What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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