She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
you made out with another girl for some wings
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
