He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
