the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
