There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
