She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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