Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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