I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
