hell yes lets make some ravioli
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
