Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
