Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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