I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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