I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
