took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
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