First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
farters have to be the big spoon...
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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