I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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