Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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