It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
