if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
