The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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