i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
