You're a womanizer and a bitch.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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