i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
