My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
