my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
