Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
