i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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