1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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