Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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