You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
