my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
