Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
