Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
