my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
