I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
