i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
