I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
