Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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