Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
