I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
