they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
