Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
