how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
