i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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