he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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