walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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