tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
