Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
