You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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