In America we eat man semen.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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