We won't sleep together?
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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