You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
