Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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