i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize