My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
