What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
