nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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